Well OK. So it's been awhile. What can I say? We've been busy!
Celebrating sixth birthdays, baby milestones, ringing in the New Year, beginning new business ventures...and that's just skimming the surface.
But what this entry is really about, is titles. What do you go by? What does it mean? How did you get it and why? For me it began six years ago with one singular word: 'Mother'.
Yup, the one word that forever changes who you are and what you are all about. In what seems like a split second your entire identity changes. Your life completely shifts from one polar opposite to another, and you can't go back. But the craziest of all? You don't want to! From the moment your {first} baby is born, it's all over! You are no longer living this life for yourself...it is all for them. Every breath. Every move. Every thought. If it were not for this one, two syllable word, I can honestly say that I am not sure where I would be, or who I would be right now. Simply put, the title 'Mother' is the best, and most trying title I will ever have!
The next title in my book, was one that took a little getting used to: 'Wife'!
For the longest time after we got married, I just couldn't get used to the word. Strange? I don't know...because the word 'Husband' didn't quit flow for me either! Now it is second nature, but in those beginning months, it was definitely strange to say. Let alone hear people say it out loud!
But the one that I am still having reservations with, is the title: 'Stay-At-Home-Mom'.
Now please don't get me wrong! I absolutely LOVE being able to spend every day with my girls, but sometimes it feels like I gave up. Gave up a career that I had worked so hard to get. I know that that is not the case! We made a family decision about 3 1/2 years ago for me to stay home. And let me tell you, this around-the-clock job is 50 times harder than any full time career! Any SAHM will tell you that. It's not headline news.
But the reason I am writing about it, is because I am incredibly grateful and thankful to be able to have this opportunity. To be married to one of the hardest working men that I know, who bends over backwards and literally works around the clock to make this happen.
But sometimes it really gets to me. I mean really gets to me!
For you parents out there who have a strong-willed, stubborn, independent child, you know what I mean! I keep telling myself that it's a good thing she's so strong and independent: after all, it will serve her well as an adult! Right?
Well we all have our reasons for having a parent stay at home with the kid{s}.
And for us, just like many others out there, it was all about the child care. It is just too dang expensive. Ridiculously expensive, to be exact! So this arrangement works out good for us.
It's just that there are times when I feel like I do not do enough.
Enough to provide monetarily. And I feel guilty when I have a "lazy" day and do not get the laundry done. Or the dishes cleaned. Or the floors swept. But that is just something I have to get over - I know that. And in time I will.
But for right now, I am too busy enjoying our 4 month old little chunker, and the our six-year-old's daily exploration of Kindergarten to worry about the dishes and floors all day!
And I know that if I were not given this opportunity to stay home with them, that I would be missing out on so much!
And with that being said {or written as it were}, I am currently enjoying the sound of a silent home while the kids are sleeping...Which means I need to, too!