Rekindling The Hobby

For a hobby that I like to think I am passionate about, I sure have fallen out of it!

But that is about to change. Photography here I come....again!

As a self-taught hobbyist, I think that I am pretty dang good. And for those of you who know me, know that I do not compliment myself well...or at all, really.

But I really do love to take photographs. I find beauty in the details. The smallest of things that most people will take for granted, and look right past. I enjoy finding just the right angle, or just the right kind of light, to perfect an image. And just to make it clear, I hate Photoshop!

My goal is to keep the image SOOC {straight out of camera}. And for the most part, I do.

There are the occasional instances where some fill light might need to be added, and it is no surprise that black and whites are some of my favorites!

So with that being said, I am once again going to dive in head first to the ocean that is known as photography. I will be picking up where I left off with the Seattle Photography Meetup Group that I was chosen to lead, through Capturing True Emotion.

I will once again start planning meetups, and hopefully end up with good turn outs!

If you, or someone you might know, loves photography and wants to join a meetup group in any state or area, click on this LINK to sign up for the one closest to you!

Keep an eye out for photos!

I look forward to sharing my hobby with you!

Honesty.

In the past, I have written about identity theft {read it HERE}.

But what do you do when you don't even know who you are anymore?

Is there even an identity to steal at this point?

I have been battling with this lately. And I don't think that I am the only one.

Much like child loss, I believe that not many people want to admit it. They don't want to feel ashamed. Or embarrassed. I am one of them, and I am finally going to admit it.

 

Now I don't know if it is caused by being a SAHM without a career, or by not having any major life goals. But unlike all the other women that I know, I seem to be a little...lost. 

For lack of a better word.

There are so many strong, independent woman out there who are working full-time, going to school full-time, raising children, and running successful businesses. And some all at the same time! While I know that jealousy is technically a "sin", I have to use the word jealous, to label how I feel about these women. 

 

While they seemingly have it all together, here I sit in my house. 

Day in, and day out. Constantly surrounded by children, with little to NO adult interaction. And oh! How I wish I was exaggerating! I am beginning to feel like somewhat of a recluse. A loner. A loser. Whatever word fits the situation best...Perhaps this all stems back from my ongoing battle with depression, which alone has it's own peaks and valleys.

But then there are the days where I wake up with a smile, feeling absolutely blissful!

Like there are no problems, and I feel good about myself in those moments.

My house is clean, my laundry is done, my kids are healthy and happy. 

So what more could I ask for? Right?! 

How selfish I must be, you're thinking. Right?!

 

Well, a social life with adults for one.

The ability to contribute financially would be helpful. 

And a little less mundane wouldn't hurt.

 

But don't get me wrong! I love my family, my life, and the amazing opportunity to stay at home with my kids! If it were not for my amazingly supportive husband, who does more than everything possible to provide for us, I would not be able to do this. Any of this!

My only hope is this:

For the other the women of the world, who like me, seem to have "lost" their way down their own path, to please know that you are not alone! 

Because I feel this way every. Single. Day.

 

It is amazing how much GOOD some real life, face-to-face contact and interaction with people your own age, can truly do to the soul!

 

 

Brave.

Something that I wish I was. 

If only I was brave enough to speak what was truly on my mind. Or to give my opinions honestly, I can only imagine how freeing that would be!

But unfortunately, I care too much about what people think. I always have, and I probably always will. This is one of my biggest flaws. I like to think that I could candidly voice my opinions and thoughts, and not be judged or turned away. However, in the society that we live in, that is simply not the case. But OH, how I wish I didn't care!! And the question still stands: WHY do I care? I ask myself this often, and still cannot come up with an answer. 

I am the person who stands on the side, bites my tongue and tip toes around others opinions. But it seems as though most people don't do the same. So why do I continue? God only knows...

  'Brave' by Sara Bareilles is a song that I am currently in love with! 

It specifically talks about finding your voice and using it. Something that I need to take to heart!

 

Check it out:

And the lyrics are amazing:

"You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do
And they settle 'neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

 

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Say what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don't run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Say what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won't do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don't you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Say what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave"

Are you Brave?