Friday, August 14, 2015


Have you ever tried to do something for yourself, only to find out that it's next to impossible?

A few months back, I started trying Yoga.
Something to center myself,  to relieve stress.
To get in some exercise, without feeling like I was exercising. 
I even found out that my local gym held an evening class!
So I went out and bought myself a yoga mat.

I went to a few classes, and even found a pretty amazing Youtube channel, 
so that I could practice at home. 
Then I remembered {how could I forget} that I have two kids and no sitter!
The class I tried going to was in the evening, but my husband's work schedule is kind of all over the place right now, which means that I am not always able to count on making it to the class.

Yes, my local gym has childcare.
But do I really want to pay for it? Or can I?
To me, that seems to defeat the whole purpose of finding your zen!

Then there is the practice-at-home routine. 
I tried that too!
But of course, it's kind of hard to find your inner peace when your toddler no longer naps, 
and your eight year old is constantly nagging you! 

So, I kind of gave it up. 
Not necessarily in the give-up kind of way, 
but more in the lets-try-this-later kind of way.
Which I fully plan on doing when school starts back up next month!

But until then, I have been trying to find out what finding your inner peace is all about.
How to find that zen feeling, and have been exploring the meaning of Namaste.

The meaning behind Yoga, Namaste and all things Zen, have always spoken to me.
But for some reason, I have never taken the time to explore them.
Shame on me!

I really do love the way I feel afterwards.
It is much more of a workout than I had originally thought, which I consider to be a bonus.
And the funny part of it is, I have no balance and I am not as flexible as I once was!
But oh well! I have to at least try, and I am.
Maybe one day I will get to that point where I don't have to try so hard.
And maybe one day I will be able to reach those difficult poses.

But first, I HAVE to find the time for myself.
But how? 
I have been told to include my little one, to have her join me.
But trying to include my toddler into a yoga practice is everything but peaceful and relaxing!

I have to find a way to be at peace with all that is crazy in this world.
For more reasons than I should probably admit, I need to find inner peace.
I need to find zen.
I need to learn the true, deep meaning of Namaste.

Because sometimes, people just need to find themselves.

This particular journey is all about me.
Me, Myself and I.

Friday, August 7, 2015

The Summer of Change

My vow to write more has obviously drifted to the wayside! 
No excuses here, just life. 

Compared to last summer, this year has been laid-back.  
We have, however, definitely attended our fair share of birthday parties, baby showers and play dates!
We went on a short family trip to Friday Harbor and camped with the in-laws for a couple nights, but other than that, that's about it.

If I had to pick a theme for my summer, this year would be Change.
So. Much. Change! It is happening all around me...

The change started at the beginning of the season, when I was informed by a friend that we would not be going on our annual family vacation with them anymore, due to their impeding divorce.
This unfortunate event has effected me more than I care to admit.
A friend that I was close to, and was only able to see once or twice a year as it was, is suddenly feeling very distant. Very unexpected!

The change continued when my mother-in-laws father passed away.
We went to his funeral, and gathered with their family for a wake afterwards.

Then I found out that a very dear friend of mine, who I have met through Thirty-One, told me that her and her family would be moving back to their home state of Georgia. Her husband had been trying to get a job there for awhile, and God finally answered their prayers!
While this is great news for them, and I am beyond happy for their family, it breaks my heart to not be able to see her anymore.
The worst part about this change was my fault.
I purposefully did not reach out to say a goodbye in person.
I couldn't handle it. Now I am regretting it.
Live and learn, and don't be selfish.

Shortly after they moved, my mom told me that she would be quitting her job, and moving to Eastern Washington where the rest of my family lives. While I do not see her all that often as it is, it was nice to be able to call her up and meet randomly for coffee, or a meal.

I have also found out that two other people that I talk to regularly, are also moving in the middle of this school year! Apparently everyone's getting the hell out of dodge!

I have been trying all summer long, to come to grips with the fact that I have important people in my life, that I will no longer get to see on a regular basis.
I keep reminding myself that I have so many close friends and family that live far away, that this is nothing new, and that it's all good!

Note to Self: It is NOT all about you.

Change is a good thing...sometimes it's just hard to get through...