Friday, January 28, 2011

Confessions of a Guilty Momma

There are so many things that parents do not say, no matter what their age. Feelings that they do not share, and opinions that they do not give. And I am one of them. Heaven forbid any of us should actually say what is on our minds, or how we feel on a day-to-day basis! This day and age, you will be promptly judged and chastised. Sad, isn't it? I think so.
The thoughts that run through your head, that you are ashamed to say out loud, are not as bad as you would believe! Trust me, I know!

For instance:: this whole week my daughter has had a stomach bug which has made her not eat, and have diarrhea every day. I feel awful for her, because there is nothing that I can do to help. And all the while, she is crying and whining because she doesn't feel well. I get that. We all do it! But by the time the 5th day has rolled around, it is getting on my nerves! I wish more than anything that I could make her feel better, but the whining has got to stop!

Now, how many of you reading this are thinking "WOW! That comes with the job, deal with it!" Or "That's rude!" I bet more of you are thinking something like this, then you would like to admit! I have before...and that's OK too. But the fact that us parents feel BAD about saying how we feel, for so many different reasons, is frustrating to me. It's not like I don't already feel bad thinking it to myself, but to say it out loud does make me feel guilty! So why must other people add to that?

Every parent has their own way of handling things, and disciplining, etc...but for crying out loud! Can't we, as parents, unload our thoughts and feelings too without judgement?! I know quite a few parents (and other people) who say "Who cares what other people think, she's YOUR kid!" But for me, at least, it's not that easy. I have never wanted "That Kid". The one who whines and cries and throws a fit because she doesn't get her way. The one that has no manners, and doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. And don't get me wrong, it's not like anybody wants "That Kid", but I have seen too many, to know that I have to work especially hard to make it NOT happen! And it is exhausting. Absolutly exhausting.

I know, I know. It comes with the J.O.B. But can't us parents get a break every once in awhile? I'm not talking about a dinner out with your spouse, or a movie with your friends. I'm talking more along the lines of encouragement, compliments and comfort from each other, rather than judgment, ignorance, and disregard for how hard our jobs really are.

I still don't know how I did it for the first three years, working full time then coming home to a toddler. Or all the other parents who do it...forever! The last thing you want to do at the end of a long day is come home to discipline a toddler! But we do it, because we have to. The future generations lie in our hands, and it is our DUTY to train them well!

Who hasn't been to a store and seen a kid throwing a fit? Having been in that very same situation myself (carrying my kid kicking and screaming out of a store with my cart left in the middle of the isle), I know how that parent feels. But if you look closely, the people around them give them dirty looks. And we all know what they are thinking...and these people make me so frustrated! If they have kids, then shame on them. And if they don't, then please don't JUDGE! You have no idea what it's like, or what it's all about!

For those of you have read all of this, I Thank You! You are troopers! I don't want people to think that I am an angry person, because I'm not! I am just getting tired of all the eyes constantly watching how I decide to parent my own child. And I hope that some will take this to or no family. Could we all just PLEASE drop the judgment and cut straight to the compliments and recognition? Thank You!   :)


  1. Everything you say here is 100% the way I feel! It seems almost expected of us parents to act like everything is so blissful and easy when deep down every day can be a struggle. There are days when the car keys and the open road look so inviting. And yes, we did choose to have have kids but that doesn't mean that we dont need a bit more understanding and less judgement from others. We mommas need to stick together and offer each other more support.

    PS I hope you know that you are doing an excellent job with Emma. You are trying your best and even though she can be difficult at times (like an other child) she is a sweet girl and I know I don't have to tell you that!

  2. Oooh lindsi! This post was a breath of fresh air. This morning has been a morning FROM hell for me. I am seriously at my wits end. But I feel like I can't say anything because people will just tell me "Oh you have a 12 month old, it happens to everyone, deal with it"... but that's exactly what I'm doing... is dealing it with all the time... alone at home. I just feel like everyone has so many ideas about how I should and should not parent, that instead of people telling me what to do, I wish they would just say "you're doing a good job".. ya know? Of course you do!

  3. Just keep trying your best and take some "vacation" time when you can to reset. I saw a little girl freaking out in the grocery store last night and it mostly made me laugh.
    Don't be too hard on yourself and vent away.

  4. The people that are judging & Giving dirty looks aren't worth 2 cents in your life! Screw em! Keep on keeping on mama! xo