Monday, March 31, 2014


Thank you to those who will take the time to read this!
This post is by far the most vulnerable, the most raw, I have ever let myself be in public!
Sitting here listening to Crosby, Stills and Nash has brought a little nostalgia about my Dad.
I find myself thinking about him quit often lately. 
Why? Because this past Wednesday, March 26th, marked the four year mark of his passing.
Crazy how fast time flies by...
I did not have a relationship with him as a child, or a teenager, or most of my adult life.
However, as soon as Emma was born he must have seen the light. Smelled the roses.
Because he came around, and stuck around! 
I got three solid years with him, where I was slowly rebuilding our relationship.
 Emma got to know her Grandfather, and he got to know her, and love her.
And he got to know me all over again.
By reconnecting with him, I learned the true meaning of Forgiveness. 
 When he passed, I thought to myself: "Why only bring him back for such a small amount of time, then rip him away from me so suddenly?!" It took me a couple of years to figure it out, but now I know. It came full circle for me...Forgiveness.
I am a true believer of the saying that everything happens for a reason.
 Also, I know that if he had been in my life when I was younger, that I would not be the person I am today. Again, everything happens for a reason!
I know now that the reason for him coming back into my life, even if for a very brief period of time, was to teach me this. This life lesson that will forever be embedded into my soul. A lesson that I can know pass down to my children. A lesson that I am now able to pass on to friends and family going through similar situations...

I forgave him for the his absence and his selfishness during my childhood. 
Because when he became present, he was all in. And those last three years he was around more than I had ever remembered! He was able to be there when I got married, and he was able to meet my first-born! That is so much more than I could ever have hoped for!

The reason I write this now, is because it has taken me up until now to be able to speak of it publicly without breaking down. A lot more happened during that time in my life, which I may or may not discuss in the future. But this particular subject I am ready to share. 
I suppose that with the four year mark now behind me, I feel slightly more comfortable talking about it.
So thank you. Thank you for allowing me to share.

1 comment:

  1. I'm here and reading Lindsi. I think you are a wise woman. I too have complex feeling surrounding my dad who is now gone. I am really glad you got those last years with him, it is a good thing. Thank you for sharing.