Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Truth About {my} Parenting

It is hard. Very hard. And it is fun. Very fun.

The top two, yeah...I resort to those a lot. I'll admit! Will you?
The trick, is to find that thin line between the two, and making it work for your family. 
I know it CAN be done, because my own mother did it. All by herself. 
And I still cannot figure out how! Nor can she!

I have gone through phases of listening to negative remarks from others, the good, bad and in-between, but realistically, you cannot do that! Why? Because you will drive yourself CrAzY!
Everyone has different parenting views and ideals. And that's OK. 
After all, isn't that part of what makes America so great?!

In the end, it all comes down to how YOU want YOUR child to act, and behave. What you want to install into them, and how you would like them to be as an adult. 

They ask tough questions, and bring up hard-to-discuss topics. But it is all necessary. They need to learn. And they learn by asking, listening and doing. Well, at least mine does!

For instance, she is constantly asking my about my Papa, and her Grandpas who have both recently passed away. Do I want to talk about this with her? Of course not! But do I? Absolutely. 
It gets even harder to talk about, when she burst into tears because I had to tell her that they are not coming back. To life, that is. So how did I handle this? I explained in child terms, the logic of it all, and why. I let her get upset, because she deserves to. Then after a couple of minutes I changed the subject, cautiously, to telling me about what things start with the letter Q {the letter she is currently learning about in school}. Now did I handle this well? For me, and my daughter, the answer is Yes. For you and your child{ren}, possibly. That is for you to decide, and figure out. 

My mother told me that as a child, the most difficult question I ever asked her was "Why are people different colors?" And if I remember correctly, she told me that her response was that God wanted to make everybody different. Simple, yet effective! I suppose that's the trick! 
Find what is effective with your kiddo, and do it! 

Now discipline is a WHOLE different story in our house! Emma does NOT listen to one single word that we say. EVER. And by ever, I am not exaggerating. Thank goodness she is {for the most part} behaved in public, and of course acts like a perfect Angel when we are not around, or nowhere in sight! Apparently, this happens with all children. So I'm told! 

She takes a good hour to finish a meal, and brush her teeth. She will never pick up a mess, or her bedroom without a full-blown fight. And yes, I have had to leave a cart full of groceries in the middle of the aisle and carry my child out of the store kicking and screaming at the top of her lungs. Embarrassing? Try Humiliating! But it comes with the territory! 
And in our home, I resort to threats, Tabasco and yelling. A lot. 
Am I proud of this? Absolutely not! But do they work with my kid? Well, about 80% of the time, Yes. 

I would LOVE to say that I am a perfect parent. 
But in fact, I am so far from it, it is actually embarrassing at times. 
But I {try} to tell myself, that if I were a "Perfect Parent", then I would not be human! HA!
However, the good times and the fun times far outweigh the bad. Obviously! 

One last thing, that took me awhile to figure out, is that it is OK to ask for help! Do not be afraid to ask!
It will NOT hurt your pride, nor will it mean that you are incapable! 


1 comment:

  1. So, SO true! There is no rule book when it comes to parenting. I have learned that what works for Jerimiah does not always work for Hannah. Its a trial and error when figuring out what works for each child. I know first hand what a great mother you are, we all face challenges with parenting but you my dear and doing great! You need to give yourself more credit Lins!