How Do They Do It?

You have seen them. Those parents who appear to have it all together.

The ones who are members of the PTA, enroll their children in every sport and activity possible, have physically fit bodies, consistently look presentable, drive fancy cars, live in big houses, go to school full-time {some work full-time}, have the patience of a saint, seem to manage to have a perfectly clean house and dinner on the table by 5:00pm, and make it all look so easy.

Can someone please tell me how they do it? Did they find a way to make the day produce more than 24 hours? Because I know for a fact that life is not produced out of a Martha Stewart magazine, nor is any one person's life that picture perfect! I also know that by these parents "seeming" to do it all and make it all look so "easy", is simply just not the case. 

The only explanation I can think of, is that these parents have outside help coming in from somewhere? Right? Or maybe they really do have it all together!

And to those who do, congratulations! Because I sure as hell haven't figured it out! 

There is obviously a part of me that wishes I could be like these parents. But that is just not me. If you know me at all, you know that I do not have the patience of a saint! Heck, those around me are lucky if I can scrape up some patience off the sidewalk! I do not have a paying job, and I rarely get dinner on the table by 5:00pm. Who am I kidding? I rarely cook dinner! Ha! The only I've got going for myself, is my {slight case} of O.C.D. about keeping my house clean. 

Every once in awhile, such as now, I find myself wondering how these parents do it.

And then I will find myself wishing that I could do it all. Go back to school...join the PTA...but then I realize that by doing that, I would have literally ZERO minutes in the day to myself!

Go ahead and call me selfish. But I know that by me finding some time during the day for myself, is my only saving grace! 

Granted, I may not have three...four...six children, but I am done minimizing myself in comparison to others. I have spent my whole life doing that, and it has gotten me nowhere! 

 

So with that being said, my two kiddos are enough for me!

And the few, precious, scare minutes I can scrape together in a day for my own sanity is going to have to take precedence over the PTA.

 

At least for now! 

Change of the Seasons

Well it's been awhile. A long while, and I do apologize!

And as you can see, I clearly failed with the 30 day blog challenge...oops!

I will just go ahead and blame my busy summer schedule for that. :)

But the summer season has officially come to a close in our home. As it has in many other school-bound families. Emma started 1st grade last week! FIRST GRADE! What the heck happened to my first baby? Where o' where did she go? If you find her, please return her safely! 

Lucky for us {and her} Emma truly loves school! She gets excited about hopping on that bus, and going to her new classroom. With her new teacher, new friends, three recesses, a "real" lunchtime, and a longer-than-usual bus ride home. 

She gets on the bus at 8:40am, and doesn't get home until 4:40pm! That is a full working day {I guess that's what we get for living in the "woods"}! I thought for sure that she would be completely exhausted by the time she gets home, but nope. She fooled me again! I don't know how she does it, but let me tell ya...that girl is wired when she gets home! GEEZ!

And then there's Haylee. We really should have named her Trouble! Or Monster, or Chaos, or...well you get the idea! She is seriously more than a handful! I guess it's true what they say about siblings being opposite, because mine most certainly are! Emma was such a laid-back, chill, and should I say "good" baby. But Haylee on the other hand is into everything, doesn't really care for sleeping that much, and is constantly into all kinds of mischief. Needless to say, she keeps me on my toes. All. The. Time! I am sure that this means she is going to be an absolute terror as a toddler. YAY ME! But she is so stinkin' cute, that it almost makes up for it! Here, let me show you:

Speaking of toddler-hood, it is pretty much upon us! I cannot believe how fast this past year flew by! Haylee's 1st birthday is in just a few short weeks! WHAT?! THIS CANNOT BE TRUE! Oh, but it is. Which means I almost have a toddler again!! But on the other hand, I am looking very forward to this Holiday Season! She will now get more excited about things, like our Christmas tree no doubt. I am sure we only be decorating the top half this year! :) 

Let's just hope she doesn't topple it over...

And Fall is back! Well, almost. My all-time favorite season! Which of course means all things pumpkin, spice, and pretty colors! That alone makes me one happy girl! :) 

Identity Theft

We all know how much we love our kiddos. We love them more than we love ourselves {well, most of us}. But I am going to be brutally honest here: having children has somewhat stolen my own identity from myself.

For the past six years, my life has been completed and utterly devoted to my daughter. And now that has become plural. I love them more than anything! But there are times when I will look back and wish that the younger, carefree version of Me could emerge! 

2006

 Now, that is not to say that I enjoyed that version of myself better, it is just to say that those were less stressful times. The days that for me, were filled with what I believe is a permanent fixture of myself: Music.

Me back then, consisted of: good friends, dive bars, live music, and a lot of festivals! And I would be lying to myself if I said that I do not miss some of that. Because I do! 

However, the life I lead now is the path that I was destined to travel. I truly believe that, and would not change any of it! But who doesn't, from time to time, wish they could take a breather to do what they enjoy the most. Guilt free!! 

Because back then, it was guilt free! There were no children to feed. Or tuck in, or read to. In fact, me just writing this already has me feeling guilty for just thinking these thoughts! Let alone admitting them publicly! And why is that? Is it just me?!

Back to the subject at hand: Now this is not to say that I do not get to occasionally partake in some good ol' fun! And granted, the definition of "fun" varies from person to person. But for me, myself and I, fun consists of the following: live music, concerts, music festivals, and yes...the occasional dive bar {from time to time}! As cheesy as this may sound to some, when I am in the moment, I become completely  engrossed in every note, and every lyric, of the music that I am listening to. And in that moment, I am not just listening, but I know that I am meant to be there. In that exact moment in time, to soak it all up. Every last second of auditory excellence!! 

2010...Best. Concert. Ever.

See what I mean? I miss it! Not being able to make my own money to spend on a whim when I see one of my favorite bands or artists are coming into town! Because that is what I used to do. I used to live it up, and now I don't. Instead, I throw myself into my days by being completely submerged into all things Kindergarten. All things baby.

So how do I treat myself these days {well, really the past six years}? Well...I BUY my music, and I really listen to it. I am a total lyric-listener. I really listen to what is being said. The story that is being told. And yes, I play the air drum in my car, and I sing out loud!! And nope, I am not ashamed, and I do not hide it! 

And when I say I BUY my music, I mean it. I do not pirate it, and I do not steal it. Granted, I might burn a CD from someone on occasion, but I always purchase music. And why you might ask? Well, because I am truly a believer that music is an Art, and I want to do everything in my power to support the Artists that I love. I believe in them and their art form, and I want to support it. So yes, I purchase every tune, and I proud to admit it!

To sum this all up: while I couldn't imagine my life without my children, and I would not change a thing, I miss a few certain aspects of my old Self. Which in a way, feels as if a minor case of Identity Theft has indeed taken place. 

These words may be a little..."extreme". But if the shoe fits and all that...The best part of my absolute LOVE for all things music, is that I have already passed it on to Emma! And now I am "working" on Haylee! Not that it was intentional, but it happened, and I couldn't be more Proud of my child's admiration for the Artistry of Music! If I do not do anything else right in this whole parenting gig, I will at least know that I did this one thing right!

*ROCK ON*

Six Months Already?

Where did it go? A whole half of a year gone already {if time decided to slow down a little bit, I would not be upset at all}!

I am still in disbelief that our littlest Haylee Bug turned 6 months old yesterday! She has been having a rough week or two. Fighting off a cold, so her poor pretty eyes have been gooped up in the mornings. She has been a little more cranky than usual, not napping as well as she usually does and waking up once or twice at night. However, for the past two days she is starting to get into the swing of things ago! PHEW!

Our little Doll Baby!

 So yesterday she had her 6 month check-up. Here are her stats:
- 27 inches long, 90% for height!
- 17.04 pounds, 75% for weight!
Needless to say, the doc said that she is a pretty good size for her age! 

She is already so much bigger and taller than Emma ever was! We cannot believe that she is in the 90% for height! Crazy girl! And of course she had some vaccinations. Thank goodness Howard was able to go with to this appointment, because the shots are harder on me than the kiddos...So I make him take over for that part!

While little miss H is not rolling over from back to belly yet, the doc said that he is not concerned. After all, she tries like heck to sit up, and can roll to her sides, and from her belly to her back. We have been working with her for months now, on how to roll over and do exercises with her. And of course, the time she really wants to try is when she's getting her diaper changed! Stinker! We are truly convinced that since she hates her tummy time so much, that she just doesn't want to be on her tummy. EVER. I guess the girl already knows what she likes, and doesn't like!

She is loving her solids, especially her oatmeal cereal and fruits! But she does take after me in the veggie department: not so into the peas!

Recently we were visiting a friend who had their daughter's old Glow worm for Haylee to play with. She loved that thing! So much so, that I just had to get one for her! Granted, the new versions of the Glow worm's are not as cute as the old one...slightly creepy in fact. But she doesn't know the difference! But I must say, she really does love that little glowing face!

Lullabies and Snuggles

One of the things that Haylee loves more than anything, is when her big sissy Emma reads to her: it is possibly the cutest thing I have ever witnessed! It doesn't matter if she is upset, cranky or restless. The minute Emma opens up a book and starts telling the story, Haylee will calm down and just gaze at Em with her big blue eyes {which are starting to get a little more grey these days...} and start smiling!

Sisters that read together, stay together

Lately Haylee has found her feet, and is obsessed with those tootsies! She loves to play with them, and she tries like heck to get them in her mouth: not so successful with this task yet...but still adorable non-the-less!

Overall, we just cannot believe how fast time is going, and how big she is getting! Considering how small she started off as, at a mere 6lbs 9oz. Now she is a whopping 17lbs, 4oz! She is honestly one of the happiest, smiley-est babies I have ever seen! Now I know that I am biased, but it is so true! We love our little Bug more than words can describe! And before you know it, we will be celebrating her first birthday!

My two favorite Loves!!!

Titles

Well OK. So it's been awhile. What can I say? We've been busy! 

 

Celebrating sixth birthdays, baby milestones, ringing in the New Year, beginning new business ventures...and that's just skimming the surface.

But what this entry is really about, is titles. What do you go by? What does it mean? How did you get it and why? For me it began six years ago with one singular word: 'Mother'.

Yup, the one word that forever changes who you are and what you are all about. In what seems like a split second your entire identity changes. Your life completely shifts from one polar opposite to another, and you can't go back. But the craziest of all? You don't want to! From the moment your {first} baby is born, it's all over! You are no longer living this life for yourself...it is all for them. Every breath. Every move. Every thought. If it were not for this one, two syllable word, I can honestly say that I am not sure where I would be, or who I would be right now. Simply put, the title 'Mother' is the best, and most trying title I will ever have! 

The next title in my book, was one that took a little getting used to: 'Wife'!

For the longest time after we got married, I just couldn't get used to the word. Strange? I don't know...because the word 'Husband' didn't quit flow for me either! Now it is second nature, but in those beginning months, it was definitely strange to say. Let alone hear people say it out loud!

But the one that I am still having reservations with, is the title: 'Stay-At-Home-Mom'.

Now please don't get me wrong! I absolutely LOVE being able to spend every day with my girls, but sometimes it feels like I gave up. Gave up a career that I had worked so hard to get. I know that that is not the case! We made a family decision about 3 1/2 years ago for me to stay home. And let me tell you, this around-the-clock job is 50 times harder than any full time career! Any SAHM will tell you that. It's not headline news.

But the reason I am writing about it, is because I am incredibly grateful and thankful to be able to have this opportunity. To be married to one of the hardest working men that I know, who bends over backwards and literally works around the clock to make this happen. 

 

But sometimes it really gets to me. I mean really gets to me! 

For you parents out there who have a strong-willed, stubborn, independent child, you know what I mean! I keep telling myself that it's a good thing she's so strong and independent: after all, it will serve her well as an adult! Right?

Well we all have our reasons for having a parent stay at home with the kid{s}. 

 And for us, just like many others out there, it was all about the child care. It is just too dang expensive. Ridiculously expensive, to be exact! So this arrangement works out good for us.

 

It's just that there are times when I feel like I do not do enough. 

Enough to provide monetarily. And I feel guilty when I have a "lazy" day and do not get the laundry done. Or the dishes cleaned. Or the floors swept. But that is just something I have to get over - I know that. And in time I will. 

 

But for right now, I am too busy enjoying our 4 month old little chunker, and the our six-year-old's daily exploration of Kindergarten to worry about the dishes and floors all day!

And I know that if I were not given this opportunity to stay home with them, that I would be missing out on so much!

And with that being said {or written as it were}, I am currently enjoying the sound of a silent home while the kids are sleeping...Which means I need to, too!

The Truth About {my} Parenting

It is hard. Very hard. And it is fun. Very fun.

The top two, yeah...I resort to those a lot. I'll admit! Will you?

The trick, is to find that thin line between the two, and making it work for your family. 

I know it CAN be done, because my own mother did it. All by herself. 

And I still cannot figure out how! Nor can she!

I have gone through phases of listening to negative remarks from others, the good, bad and in-between, but realistically, you cannot do that! Why? Because you will drive yourself CrAzY!

Everyone has different parenting views and ideals. And that's OK. 

After all, isn't that part of what makes America so great?!

In the end, it all comes down to how YOU want YOUR child to act, and behave. What you want to install into them, and how you would like them to be as an adult. 

They ask tough questions, and bring up hard-to-discuss topics. But it is all necessary. They need to learn. And they learn by asking, listening and doing. Well, at least mine does!

For instance, she is constantly asking my about my Papa, and her Grandpas who have both recently passed away. Do I want to talk about this with her? Of course not! But do I? Absolutely. 

It gets even harder to talk about, when she burst into tears because I had to tell her that they are not coming back. To life, that is. So how did I handle this? I explained in child terms, the logic of it all, and why. I let her get upset, because she deserves to. Then after a couple of minutes I changed the subject, cautiously, to telling me about what things start with the letter Q {the letter she is currently learning about in school}. Now did I handle this well? For me, and my daughter, the answer is Yes. For you and your child{ren}, possibly. That is for you to decide, and figure out. 

My mother told me that as a child, the most difficult question I ever asked her was "Why are people different colors?" And if I remember correctly, she told me that her response was that God wanted to make everybody different. Simple, yet effective! I suppose that's the trick! 

Find what is effective with your kiddo, and do it! 

Now discipline is a WHOLE different story in our house! Emma does NOT listen to one single word that we say. EVER. And by ever, I am not exaggerating. Thank goodness she is {for the most part} behaved in public, and of course acts like a perfect Angel when we are not around, or nowhere in sight! Apparently, this happens with all children. So I'm told! 

She takes a good hour to finish a meal, and brush her teeth. She will never pick up a mess, or her bedroom without a full-blown fight. And yes, I have had to leave a cart full of groceries in the middle of the aisle and carry my child out of the store kicking and screaming at the top of her lungs. Embarrassing? Try Humiliating! But it comes with the territory! 

And in our home, I resort to threats, Tabasco and yelling. A lot. 

Am I proud of this? Absolutely not! But do they work with my kid? Well, about 80% of the time, Yes. 

I would LOVE to say that I am a perfect parent. 

But in fact, I am so far from it, it is actually embarrassing at times. 

But I {try} to tell myself, that if I were a "Perfect Parent", then I would not be human! HA!

However, the good times and the fun times far outweigh the bad. Obviously! 

One last thing, that took me awhile to figure out, is that it is OK to ask for help! Do not be afraid to ask!

It will NOT hurt your pride, nor will it mean that you are incapable! 

HAPPY PARENTING!