Em 7.0

Seven years ago today, our lives changed forever. 

In the best {and hardest} way possible: we became Parents.

Our biggest little, Emma turned seven years old at 12:08am this morning!

I cannot believe how incredibly FAST the years have flown by!

Before she was born, people would tell me that time would go by fast, and to cherish every moment because they are so fleeting. And oh yes, how they have been!

 

Just born

 

Sitting here thinking, I can remember every moment:

When I found out I was pregnant, the first time we saw her on an ultrasound, when we found out she was a girl, the moment she was born. 

I remember rocking her to sleep, singing her lullabies, and those first late nights that we never thought we would make it through. But we did! 

I remember how hard it was to go back to work and leave her behind, and I remember my first Mother's Day and how precious it was to me. 

I remember her first steps and her first words.

I remember her first birthday, and every birthday since. 

I remember when she started preschool.

I remember when she graduated Pre-K, and started Kindergarten. 

I remember the magic in her eyes when we took her to Disneyland.

And I remember when she became a Big Sister. 

One month old

First birthday

2 years old

First day of preschool - 3 years old

Pre-K - 4 years old

Kindergarten - 5 years

1st grade - 6 years

I remember every. single. moment. 

The good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful!

And let me tell you, she really is Beautiful. Inside and out. 

I know that I am biased, but it is undeniable. 

While she may have her moments, as does every child, the good far outweighs the bad.

 

I can only imagine how much of a mess I will be when she reaches all her older milestones, if I am this gushy about her turning seven!

 

 

This is my HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my forever-baby girl! 

Mommy & Daddy love you to the Moon and Back, Forever & Ever!

XoXo

 

 

How Do They Do It?

You have seen them. Those parents who appear to have it all together.

The ones who are members of the PTA, enroll their children in every sport and activity possible, have physically fit bodies, consistently look presentable, drive fancy cars, live in big houses, go to school full-time {some work full-time}, have the patience of a saint, seem to manage to have a perfectly clean house and dinner on the table by 5:00pm, and make it all look so easy.

Can someone please tell me how they do it? Did they find a way to make the day produce more than 24 hours? Because I know for a fact that life is not produced out of a Martha Stewart magazine, nor is any one person's life that picture perfect! I also know that by these parents "seeming" to do it all and make it all look so "easy", is simply just not the case. 

The only explanation I can think of, is that these parents have outside help coming in from somewhere? Right? Or maybe they really do have it all together!

And to those who do, congratulations! Because I sure as hell haven't figured it out! 

There is obviously a part of me that wishes I could be like these parents. But that is just not me. If you know me at all, you know that I do not have the patience of a saint! Heck, those around me are lucky if I can scrape up some patience off the sidewalk! I do not have a paying job, and I rarely get dinner on the table by 5:00pm. Who am I kidding? I rarely cook dinner! Ha! The only I've got going for myself, is my {slight case} of O.C.D. about keeping my house clean. 

Every once in awhile, such as now, I find myself wondering how these parents do it.

And then I will find myself wishing that I could do it all. Go back to school...join the PTA...but then I realize that by doing that, I would have literally ZERO minutes in the day to myself!

Go ahead and call me selfish. But I know that by me finding some time during the day for myself, is my only saving grace! 

Granted, I may not have three...four...six children, but I am done minimizing myself in comparison to others. I have spent my whole life doing that, and it has gotten me nowhere! 

 

So with that being said, my two kiddos are enough for me!

And the few, precious, scare minutes I can scrape together in a day for my own sanity is going to have to take precedence over the PTA.

 

At least for now! 

Identity Theft

We all know how much we love our kiddos. We love them more than we love ourselves {well, most of us}. But I am going to be brutally honest here: having children has somewhat stolen my own identity from myself.

For the past six years, my life has been completed and utterly devoted to my daughter. And now that has become plural. I love them more than anything! But there are times when I will look back and wish that the younger, carefree version of Me could emerge! 

2006

 Now, that is not to say that I enjoyed that version of myself better, it is just to say that those were less stressful times. The days that for me, were filled with what I believe is a permanent fixture of myself: Music.

Me back then, consisted of: good friends, dive bars, live music, and a lot of festivals! And I would be lying to myself if I said that I do not miss some of that. Because I do! 

However, the life I lead now is the path that I was destined to travel. I truly believe that, and would not change any of it! But who doesn't, from time to time, wish they could take a breather to do what they enjoy the most. Guilt free!! 

Because back then, it was guilt free! There were no children to feed. Or tuck in, or read to. In fact, me just writing this already has me feeling guilty for just thinking these thoughts! Let alone admitting them publicly! And why is that? Is it just me?!

Back to the subject at hand: Now this is not to say that I do not get to occasionally partake in some good ol' fun! And granted, the definition of "fun" varies from person to person. But for me, myself and I, fun consists of the following: live music, concerts, music festivals, and yes...the occasional dive bar {from time to time}! As cheesy as this may sound to some, when I am in the moment, I become completely  engrossed in every note, and every lyric, of the music that I am listening to. And in that moment, I am not just listening, but I know that I am meant to be there. In that exact moment in time, to soak it all up. Every last second of auditory excellence!! 

2010...Best. Concert. Ever.

See what I mean? I miss it! Not being able to make my own money to spend on a whim when I see one of my favorite bands or artists are coming into town! Because that is what I used to do. I used to live it up, and now I don't. Instead, I throw myself into my days by being completely submerged into all things Kindergarten. All things baby.

So how do I treat myself these days {well, really the past six years}? Well...I BUY my music, and I really listen to it. I am a total lyric-listener. I really listen to what is being said. The story that is being told. And yes, I play the air drum in my car, and I sing out loud!! And nope, I am not ashamed, and I do not hide it! 

And when I say I BUY my music, I mean it. I do not pirate it, and I do not steal it. Granted, I might burn a CD from someone on occasion, but I always purchase music. And why you might ask? Well, because I am truly a believer that music is an Art, and I want to do everything in my power to support the Artists that I love. I believe in them and their art form, and I want to support it. So yes, I purchase every tune, and I proud to admit it!

To sum this all up: while I couldn't imagine my life without my children, and I would not change a thing, I miss a few certain aspects of my old Self. Which in a way, feels as if a minor case of Identity Theft has indeed taken place. 

These words may be a little..."extreme". But if the shoe fits and all that...The best part of my absolute LOVE for all things music, is that I have already passed it on to Emma! And now I am "working" on Haylee! Not that it was intentional, but it happened, and I couldn't be more Proud of my child's admiration for the Artistry of Music! If I do not do anything else right in this whole parenting gig, I will at least know that I did this one thing right!

*ROCK ON*

Six Months Already?

Where did it go? A whole half of a year gone already {if time decided to slow down a little bit, I would not be upset at all}!

I am still in disbelief that our littlest Haylee Bug turned 6 months old yesterday! She has been having a rough week or two. Fighting off a cold, so her poor pretty eyes have been gooped up in the mornings. She has been a little more cranky than usual, not napping as well as she usually does and waking up once or twice at night. However, for the past two days she is starting to get into the swing of things ago! PHEW!

Our little Doll Baby!

 So yesterday she had her 6 month check-up. Here are her stats:
- 27 inches long, 90% for height!
- 17.04 pounds, 75% for weight!
Needless to say, the doc said that she is a pretty good size for her age! 

She is already so much bigger and taller than Emma ever was! We cannot believe that she is in the 90% for height! Crazy girl! And of course she had some vaccinations. Thank goodness Howard was able to go with to this appointment, because the shots are harder on me than the kiddos...So I make him take over for that part!

While little miss H is not rolling over from back to belly yet, the doc said that he is not concerned. After all, she tries like heck to sit up, and can roll to her sides, and from her belly to her back. We have been working with her for months now, on how to roll over and do exercises with her. And of course, the time she really wants to try is when she's getting her diaper changed! Stinker! We are truly convinced that since she hates her tummy time so much, that she just doesn't want to be on her tummy. EVER. I guess the girl already knows what she likes, and doesn't like!

She is loving her solids, especially her oatmeal cereal and fruits! But she does take after me in the veggie department: not so into the peas!

Recently we were visiting a friend who had their daughter's old Glow worm for Haylee to play with. She loved that thing! So much so, that I just had to get one for her! Granted, the new versions of the Glow worm's are not as cute as the old one...slightly creepy in fact. But she doesn't know the difference! But I must say, she really does love that little glowing face!

Lullabies and Snuggles

One of the things that Haylee loves more than anything, is when her big sissy Emma reads to her: it is possibly the cutest thing I have ever witnessed! It doesn't matter if she is upset, cranky or restless. The minute Emma opens up a book and starts telling the story, Haylee will calm down and just gaze at Em with her big blue eyes {which are starting to get a little more grey these days...} and start smiling!

Sisters that read together, stay together

Lately Haylee has found her feet, and is obsessed with those tootsies! She loves to play with them, and she tries like heck to get them in her mouth: not so successful with this task yet...but still adorable non-the-less!

Overall, we just cannot believe how fast time is going, and how big she is getting! Considering how small she started off as, at a mere 6lbs 9oz. Now she is a whopping 17lbs, 4oz! She is honestly one of the happiest, smiley-est babies I have ever seen! Now I know that I am biased, but it is so true! We love our little Bug more than words can describe! And before you know it, we will be celebrating her first birthday!

My two favorite Loves!!!

Life Lately!

As you can imagine, I have been pretty preoccupied lately.

What with the newest addition to our family, Haylee Elizabeth! 

After a successful induction, and two epidurals later, she has finally arrived!

Born on September 25th, at 2:20am. Weighing in at 6lbs, 9 oz, 19 inches long.

Just Born!

This whole Newborn thing has thrown me for a loop! I am embarrassed to say that I forgot more about it than I care to admit! Who would have thought that 5.5 years later, I would be trying to figure it out all over again?! Well, me, I guess!

The sleepless nights, the feedings, the struggles with breastfeeding/pumping, the fact that she is just so teeny-tiny {she technically should not be arriving for another 6-7 days!}, plus Emma's schedule, and the diaper-to-poo ratio, all makes for completely exhausted Parents.  

On the way home from the hospital...

But other than all that, I do have to say that we would not trade it for anything! Cliche, yes, I know, but so true! Little Miss will sleep through ANYTHING! Which is a blessing! I guess she's already used to all our noise! Ha, ha! 

Speaking of noise, she is quite possible the noisiest infant EVER! It's pretty funny, actually...all her grunts, groans and squeaks! You can definitely tell when she's starting to wake up. I am planning on whipping out my camera here soon, and take some good quality photos of little Haylee, and her Sis-Sis Emma. So keep an eye out for those...

At one week old

Also, do I even need to mention how much Emma LOVES her little sister?! 

She is completely enamored with her! She has labeled herself the "Diaper Helper", and she is honestly the best helper I could ask for! She will get stuff for me, help me out while I'm pumping, check on sister before and after school, and is super concerned about her while in the car. It's pretty cute, really! :)

My Fave: My Loves!

 I cannot believe how FAST these past two weeks have flown by! The previous 37 weeks went by so SLOOOOW. So of course this time has to fly by - Murphy's Law. 

Damn that Murphy and all his Laws!

She is already two weeks old - TODAY!!

Two weeks old -TODAY!

 Needless to say, all these sleepless nights and busy days, equals CAFFEINE for this Mama! You got it right, I am officially back on my bad habit. I'll admit it! 

Pumpkin Spice Latte, in a festive Halloween mug! :)

And might I add: Thank You so much to my Mom who watched Em and made sure she got to and from school safely while we were in the hospital, cleaned our whole house, purchased groceries, and has since helped us on her days off!! 

What a God Send she has been! XoXo

 

Reservations...

I have read many articles and blogs on this topic, so I know that I am not alone in my thoughts. But still, I feel slightly guilty even thinking them::

Do I have what it takes, do I have enough love and patience, to raise two children?

I know I do. But with just a little over a week left until my induction date, this have been weighing heavily on my mind. Granted, I will not have two kids in diapers {thank Goodness!}, and Emma is going to be a huge help. But I remember that feeling I had instantly the moment she was born, and know that I will have it again with this one. But will I feel guilty when that happens? Probably not, which will make me feel guilty!

 Oh, how the wheel keeps turning!

It's strange for me to think that we only have a little over a week left with just our Emma. 

{No, I will NOT CRY!}

This is a good thing. A happy thing. An exciting thing! 

I just want to make 100% sure that I have the capacity to love both equally, and both as intensely. But see. That's where I get nervous - I can't be 100% positive, and I am such a planner, such an organizer, that not having control over feelings that deep and substantial, terrifies me. 

Now, I know that I'll get over this - give me a day or two to mull it over! But in the meantime, I have been thinking about Emma as a baby, and how fast the past 5 1/2 years have absolutely flown by! I love my extremely independent, incredibly smart, and beautiful little girl. But there are times when I look at her and miss the little helpless, needful infant that she used to be. But what parent doesn't do that from time to time? Right? Right! 

One month old

One of my all-time favorite photos!

About two years old

Five years old

For now, I am going to chalk this all up to my high levels of pregnancy hormones, since I still have that excuse to use!

The Truth About {my} Parenting

It is hard. Very hard. And it is fun. Very fun.

The top two, yeah...I resort to those a lot. I'll admit! Will you?

The trick, is to find that thin line between the two, and making it work for your family. 

I know it CAN be done, because my own mother did it. All by herself. 

And I still cannot figure out how! Nor can she!

I have gone through phases of listening to negative remarks from others, the good, bad and in-between, but realistically, you cannot do that! Why? Because you will drive yourself CrAzY!

Everyone has different parenting views and ideals. And that's OK. 

After all, isn't that part of what makes America so great?!

In the end, it all comes down to how YOU want YOUR child to act, and behave. What you want to install into them, and how you would like them to be as an adult. 

They ask tough questions, and bring up hard-to-discuss topics. But it is all necessary. They need to learn. And they learn by asking, listening and doing. Well, at least mine does!

For instance, she is constantly asking my about my Papa, and her Grandpas who have both recently passed away. Do I want to talk about this with her? Of course not! But do I? Absolutely. 

It gets even harder to talk about, when she burst into tears because I had to tell her that they are not coming back. To life, that is. So how did I handle this? I explained in child terms, the logic of it all, and why. I let her get upset, because she deserves to. Then after a couple of minutes I changed the subject, cautiously, to telling me about what things start with the letter Q {the letter she is currently learning about in school}. Now did I handle this well? For me, and my daughter, the answer is Yes. For you and your child{ren}, possibly. That is for you to decide, and figure out. 

My mother told me that as a child, the most difficult question I ever asked her was "Why are people different colors?" And if I remember correctly, she told me that her response was that God wanted to make everybody different. Simple, yet effective! I suppose that's the trick! 

Find what is effective with your kiddo, and do it! 

Now discipline is a WHOLE different story in our house! Emma does NOT listen to one single word that we say. EVER. And by ever, I am not exaggerating. Thank goodness she is {for the most part} behaved in public, and of course acts like a perfect Angel when we are not around, or nowhere in sight! Apparently, this happens with all children. So I'm told! 

She takes a good hour to finish a meal, and brush her teeth. She will never pick up a mess, or her bedroom without a full-blown fight. And yes, I have had to leave a cart full of groceries in the middle of the aisle and carry my child out of the store kicking and screaming at the top of her lungs. Embarrassing? Try Humiliating! But it comes with the territory! 

And in our home, I resort to threats, Tabasco and yelling. A lot. 

Am I proud of this? Absolutely not! But do they work with my kid? Well, about 80% of the time, Yes. 

I would LOVE to say that I am a perfect parent. 

But in fact, I am so far from it, it is actually embarrassing at times. 

But I {try} to tell myself, that if I were a "Perfect Parent", then I would not be human! HA!

However, the good times and the fun times far outweigh the bad. Obviously! 

One last thing, that took me awhile to figure out, is that it is OK to ask for help! Do not be afraid to ask!

It will NOT hurt your pride, nor will it mean that you are incapable! 

HAPPY PARENTING! 

Toy Story on Ice!

Last night was so much fun! 

It is times like this, that remind why I love being a parent!

Neither Emma or I had ever been to a Disney on Ice event before, and it was definitely well worth the money! We went with some 'alumni' if you will, of this Disney on Ice thing, and they had told me how much fun it is...they were right! A few months ago, Alyssa & Cody's parents {Em's best friends from school, also with whom we will be going to Disneyland with} and I decided we should all go together, and we are glad we did!

We started the night off by meeting our friends for dinner at the Ram in Kent Station. Since the show was at the ShoWare Center, we decided to walk across and get some dinner before hand...

Then we headed back and let the kiddos take their photo together with Buzz & Woody!

Meet the Three Amigos!

 Then from there, we just HAD to purchase some extremely over-priced cotton candy {which came with a styrofoam alien hat}...

 And an over-priced lemonade {which came with a reusable water bottle}! Cue the SUGAR OVERLOAD! But what is a night of fun without sugar, right?!!!

We then headed to our seats, which were really good! Six rows from the ice! The show starts, and my daughter LIGHTS UP! I have never seen her so incredibly excited! In fact, I must confess that seeing her like that got me a little choked up...my eyes may have watered up a little...!

Then comes intermission - which is when she saw this - 

  Which does this -

And just had to have it! She is such a little Tom Boy at times, and I love it! By the time the show had ended, she was a little upset. She didn't want it to end! I am thinking that we may have to buck up and do this every year! It's a BLAST! 

Em and her 'Boyfriend'

Random Ramblings

{You'll have to pardon the random change of subject in this post. I may jump around a little}

I recently read a quote that I could not help but to fall in love with ~

"Amazing Grace:: Life is a classroom. We are both student and teacher. Each day is a test. And each day we receive a passing or failing grade in one particular subject - Grace. Grace is compassion, gratitude, surrender, faith, forgiveness, good manners, reverence, and the list goes on. It's something money can't buy and credentials rarely produce. Being the smartest, the prettiest, the most talented, the richest or even the poorest can't help. Being a humble person can, and being a helpful person can guide you through your days with Grace and Gratitude." 

We could all learn a lesson from this. Whether your best day, your worst, or somewhere in between, these words mean a lot. At least to me.

Also recently, I have found myself doing a few things that I "swore" I would never do as a parent - Oops! For instance, I had always said that I didn't want my kid to have a T.V. in their bedroom. FAIL! We gave in when we moved into our new home, and she now has my old little T.V. with a VHS player attached. She falls asleep to it! What can I say?

Another thing, is that I had always said that I wouldn't send my kid to their bedroom if they're in trouble, because of two reasons: 1) What kind of punishment is it to send them to their room where all their toys and books are? 2) I never wanted her to think that her room was only for punishment. That you only go there if your in trouble. Well...FAIL again!

I have found myself doing this as of lately! It seems to be working though, being that I make her go sit in her room to think about what she's done, or what she's said. I take her T.V. out for the time being, just so she knows I'm serious.

How bad of me is it, really, to have given in to these two things? I feel slightly hypocritical (of myself) to have said these things in the not-so-distant-past, only to be putting them to use NOW! It's funny how your way of thinking changes along the way...

{I suppose I can chalk it all up to good ol' Mother's Guilt}

The Grass Is Always Greener...

Since I have been on both sides of this fence, I think I have enough experience to talk about it! I recently read in RedBook magazine some very interesting lists:: "10 Things Never to say to a Stay-At-Home-Mom", and "10 Things Never to say to a Working Mom".
Well I have done both. I worked for the first 3 years or so, of Emma's life, and it was NOT easy! I still don't know how all the single parents, or working parents of multiple children do it! Hats of to THEM...seriously! And for so many different reasons, we decided that I should not continue my J.O.B. Dental, to be exact...So I can thoroughly appreciate, and relate to, every word on both of these lists!
(*You would find it surprising how many people will actually tell you these things to your face*)

10 Things Never to Say to a Working Mom:

1. It must be hard missing all those special moments every day.
2. I suppose it's smart that you're working. You know, in case your husband leaves you some day.
3. I'm surprised you went back to work. Your husband seems so successful.
4. It's cute when they call your nanny "Mama."
5. I just love my kids too much to leave them during the day.
6. Did you see Dateline? The one with the hidden camera in the day care?
7. I could never let someone else raise my children. But that's just me!
8. I hated my mom because she was never home after school like everyone else's mom.
9. You must feel so guilty.
10. I wish I were as laid-back as you and could just let the housework go.

And now for the Whammy!

10 Things Never To Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom:

1. When the kids are older, do you think you'll get a real job?
2. How June Cleaver of you!
3. Oh, so you don't work?
4. Since you have extra time on your hands, could you whip up a few dozen brownies for the bake sale tomorrow?
5. All day with your kids? I can't even imagine.
6. I'm jealous. I wish my husband were rich so I wouldn't have to work either.
7. What do you do all day, anyway?
8. I'm sure you're not the only one who's ever wasted money on a college degree.
9. That explains why your son is so clingy!
10. Weird. I assumed your house would be super clean

For those of you fellow Mommies out there, I am sure that you can appreciate one, or both, of these lists as well! Regardless of your current situation, or status, you no doubt have had that moment where you think to yourself "Have I lost my own identity?"
Also, don't you find it strange how most people who say these things either A) have NO idea what they are talking about, since they have never been in your situation, or B) are completely ignorant and judgmental? Which I have already ranted about in a previous post, so I won't go there again!

I thought that I would share these findings with you, so that you would hopefully get a laugh (or a little frustration) out of them like I did!